Goal

A goal is a dream with a due date attached. If you don't put a date on your goals they are no more than dreams. I am working on figuring out my goals. You would think that as a servant of Jehovah my goals would be preset. But that's not necessarily so. Yes of course I want to live forever with my family in paradise, but that really isn't a goal since a gift can't really be a goal. The goal would be on the givers end, right? As for me, I need to figure out if, say pioneering is really my goal, or finding a job to help ease the financial stresses we are under, or building my online retail business, or finishing the wedding quilt which is 5 years behind schedule, or cleaning out the attic. Some goals may seem small and unimportant. But I guess it depends on who is looking. Today out in service the sister I was working with told me what an encouragement I was to her. I love this sister and enjoy being with her but I felt blank as far as being in service went. Almost as if I have built a thick wall around my spiritual heart. I have to figure out how to break down that wall. actually I already KNOW how to break it down. I just have to do it. Make it a goal. Put a date to it.
The dictionary defines a goal as the end toward which effort is directed. If I focus and put a date to my desired end-result then I will fall in love with the ministry. A calendar is an excellent tool in this case. I just wrote on my calendar, with a red sharpie, "Finish 2011 Yearbook" on May 31st. My first new goal. I know it may seem like a small thing but it is a start. After that maybe I'll put a date for reading each book of the Bible and for cleaning the attic. (Although Mike won't want the attic to wait that long!)
I have scheduled a job interview for this coming Tuesday and once I start working I will get into my regret-that-I-wasted-the-past-two-years-of-unemployment mode. It's a vicious cycle.
Time to focus on the tasks on my desk so that I can clear away some clutter and set some goals.

Focus 101

Focus - 2: to cause to be concentrated (their attention on the most urgent problems)
             3: to concentrate attentionor effort

Now this is something I have trouble with. I don't remember having such a problem in years past, perhaps because I had always worked a nine-to-five job which was scheduled for me. I didn't have to focus so much as just follow the schedule. Now I am in business for myself and it's not going so well for me because no one schedules my time anymore. I have to do that for myself. You would think that someone as organized as I feel I am would not have such a struggle, just organize time. But time is not the same as a concrete or tangible item. You can't sort time like you can paper clips or file folders. But you can lose it, squander it, waste it or fill it any way imaginable.
Right now I have my meeting study items open on the island (partially studied), a new Quickbooks account almost set up on my computer, lunch waiting for me in the microwave, laundry in the dryer waiting to be folded and tracked-in who-knows-what on the area rug waiting to be vacuumed. I set up the shelves for the patio bakers-rack but not the matching cafe table top. And now I'm writing this. I have been flitting from one to the other all afternoon. At the end of the day I will be exhausted from doing so much but not feeling like I accomplished anything. I need to focus!!

I'm thinking about starting a new method of making a list. At least for now. I think I will list what I HAVE done rather than what I should do. Making a list of what I need to accomplish just reminds me of how I have fallen short for the day because I always put way too much on the list. At the end of the day I may have done 6 out of 10 things but left 4 undone and that is what screems at me. Maybe if I list what I accomplished, at least until I can free up some grey-matter between my ears, I can focus on positives. Of course my memory is not what it used to be but maybe that will also improve as my mental state de-clutters and comes into focus.

Let me go and eat lunch, finish studying for tonights meeting and not go back onto the deck for a bit. Then after the meeting I can finish up my Quickbooks project so I can get back to working for someone else.

I'vebeen sitting at my computer WAY too long!

I know I have been sitting at my desk off-kilter when my sciatic nerve acts up. Well, it has gone WAY beyond sitting off-kilter this time! I have been sitting for much too long all together because I can barely walk this week. It has been raining buckets all week so going out in service was not an option for my thoughts. Now today, it is not raining but I just can't get motivated to do anything! I've been inside too long.

Last night I had several lines of thinking I wanted to get down on paper but didn't want to obsess over my new blog...now I don't remember what they were. I know they will come back to me but in the meantime...

Today is a good day to start new projects

Today is a day of beginnings. 35 years ago I started out on another "mystery tour" so to speak. Today is Micah's 35th birthday. I did not connect the start of this with the anniversary of that but what co-incidence! That journey has had it's good days and not so good days so I guess this will too. We should not be afraid of what lies ahead, we should learn to go-with-the-flow. That way we can look back and be ok with the big picture. Life is good so enjoy the ride.

There is always a beginning and an end, it's the middle that's dicey

We all hit a slump at one point or another. How we handle it is the true mark of our character. This is going to be an interesting project for me. I'm not sure I want everyone to know what I am thinking, and one of my problems is I think too much. On the other hand if I can clear out some of the "stuff" floating around in my brain I just may clear out space for action. Of course it is a delicate balance between interest and obsession. The obsession part being my personality trait. I sold The Pampered chef only long enough to aquire everything in the catalog for myself & Micah, then I lost interest because there was nothing left to have. Or making sure that Micah had EVERY SINGLE BEANIE BABY AVAILABLE just because. So this may turn out to be a good thing - clearing out the old to make room for the new. Or a not so good thing - sure it replaces spider solitare but you STILL aren't doing anything really productive. So let's see where this goes.

On that note, if I don't get out to the post office, lumber yard & grocery store soon I will have wasted another day on the computer. :)